It's being a while since I last get involve with love. Why can't the girl I loved, love me like how I loved them? It started like an awesome beginning, lots of laughter, then it was like a roller coaster ride, what am I really to you? You said that I am not a spare tire, I'm someone important, but I don't feel so, why? Our first night, maybe our last. I was looking forward, but I'm sad that you are sick. I'm sad that even though we are so close, you still texted G, still texted J, are you waiting for one of them? I really don't know. This morning, the messages really hurts, you said you used to like me 40% and now it's only less than 10%. Do I really deserve it? You have no idea how much it hurts, you will never know why I choose to go. Loving you till I cried, still loving you till I died.
I need to stop worrying for her. I need to stop thinking of her and missing her so much. I bet she can't even feel anything about me, why make myself go through so much pain. WHY? i ask myself. Guess this is love. Guess this is how you feel when you love someone yet the person don't love you. Is it too much to ask for her love? Should i endure this pain and carry on loving till she ignore me like Jessie? I'm afraid of failing.. Her text.. They hurt so much.. I know i was wrong, but.. the words.. They felt like a thousands bees stinging me on my head, my body.. "insecurity", "scared", "expectation" and "i just want things to go my way". Am i really that worthless. They say that love is like flying a kite, you need to set loose of the kite to make it fly higher, but i'm afraid if i let it go, it will never come back. I will give her the room she needed to breath, i will not text her moving forward.. I just hope and pray that i make a little impact in her life and she will remember me and text me back.. I really miss you Farah..
People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts.
Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and
dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain
is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re
wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength
in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what
matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own
reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting
society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel
your pain.
If you're not the one, why does my soul feel glad today? If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way? If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call? If you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all? I never know what the future brings but I know you're here with me now, we'll make it through and I hop you are the one I share my life with. I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand. If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms? No matter how much i wanted to leave her, the simplest text
from her just take away all the pain.. Am i really in loved with her?
Why does all the songs i listen keep reminding of her.. I wanted to see
her so much, to hug her, to cry on her shoulder.. Farah.. i really miss
you.
It's funny how during your birthday, everyone in Facebook turn out to be your friends and started posting "birthday wishes". Well, all I'm asking is actually her post and maybe a photo of her now and again.
This was the third time i cried myself to bed. It's funny how she means so much to me, like the world when everything time just stop when she leave me. Oh well, technically she haven't leave me, we are not even together yet. Maybe that why it's more painful?
I'm turning 30 and in my 30 years, I've never really wanted anything in my life. This year birthday and this year Christmas, all I'm asking is for a chance, to love her. Even if i fail, i would be glad, at least i tried and i was given a chance to prove to everyone that I'm not so bad.
They always say that good girls always go for bad guys, and yet i got so much to prove that I'm not bad yet deep inside me, i wish that I'm good enough for you.
I miss those kisses and the way you used to sleep beside me on the taxi. I miss
the way you made me eat my meals and I miss the way you made me
laugh. I miss you..
216 Hours till maybe seeing you again..
It's been a while since i last type anything on this blog. Funniest thing is i barely know her, i think she felt the same as me, maybe worst. This feeling of missing and knowing that i wouldn't be in her mind is driving me insane. It's only 12 hours since i last saw her, how do i endure the next 240 hours and what worst is after the 240 hours, will i still get to chase her? Will i still get to be close to her?
It seems like a dream where i fall in love suddenly, where everything i wanted is in her. And my birthday and my Christmas.. Then it's all gone. Just one night and all is over.
I have 101 reasons to hate her. But somehow, the real me is telling me that it's worth it. That i should keep trying and no matter how painful it is, i need to carry on to prove to her, and to everyone else that I'm true and i really love her and it's not because of some impulse factor.
Why does everyone keep asking me to let go, why does everyone say it's okay when its not? I don't understand. Why is my love life always end up in a twist. Why can't someone just love me for who i am and not someone they want me to be.
I'll control myself, i will not text or annoy her any further. Although deep inside me, i still wish that she would call and said that she wants me over for Christmas, deep inside.. i wish.. i just wish.. Bolehkah saya memeluk? Boleh saya mencium kamu? All i want for Christmas is you. Loving you Farah.
30/8/2010 - The first time we met, the first move was Step up 3. The first cafe we had was at Cineleasure. She worn a black top with black skirt and a black windbreaker.
27/3/2011 - She ask if i wanna go over to her nephew 1st year, i went. Bought a muscial instrument for him and some donuts and stomach pills for her, played my first mahjong after since... 5yrs ago? Waited for taxi.. long wait.. no taxi, no calls.. finally a taxi came over.
29/3/2011 - First Open Water Basic Theory, late for class, had dinner at Mac at Habour Front and move over to Coffee Bean because of the renovation works.. too noisy.
30/3/2011 - Watch a movie at AMK Hub, Morning Glory. Her grandmother was warded..
8/4/2011 - It was a friday, on our way to Timon, she bought an eye mask(for me) and dress(for xuan)
9/4/2011 - 2 shore dive.. First time crying on bed..
10/4/ 2011 - 2 Boat dive.. Get to hold her hands underwater, get to have her head rest on my shoulder.
11/4/2011 - Watch a movie at Nex, The Eagle.
14/4/2011 - Watch a movie at AMK Hub, RIO.
18/4/2011 - was suppose to go rollar blading, but due to heavy rain, we went to Tampines n watch Scream 4 and have lunch at Swensen, Crayfish pasta and breaded chicken.
22/4/2011 - Pass her a DIY card frame, first time entering her house and room, apple green wall, she love the present from her looks.
23/4/2011 - She came over to play mahjong, lost $155, felt bad..
24/4/2011 - Its the end.
"In Class nOw"
oh.. having fundamental of software development in short, learning Java2 -_-; went to cut my hair yesterday and catch spidery3 ~_~ not really nice cause too dragly and not really following the real story but who cares, it's a movie so must have ending ma..
The real story is, venom is 10x stronger than spiderman and spiderman can never win venom, because it's the evil from spiderman and once it's out it doesn't need to find another host because it's independance, it find it's own body to which he wants to bond with. And in the real story, both harry and his dad didn't die T_T and they never help spiderman at all :_( rubbish movie but!~! it's still good consider the animation effect and time, some 2hours ++ movie. i give it a 8/10 ~_~ Venom is soooooooo nice, but i still like Carnage
Lesson in class is so boring, nothing much to do.. oh.. soooooooo boring..
Easter aka Patrick
25
1998 to 1999 WCG Starcraft Champ
2001 to 2001 WCG Warcraft3 Champ
[[ The Wishlist ]]
New life!
If only you could know me better
Rich, Smart & wish i knew you 2 years ago.
To Be In your Arms "Ms Lee"
To know how to drive
To get my degree
To company her to Malaysia or any country
Get more friends
[[ Don't talk crap, it's fucking rude ]]
Tagboard here.(Duh!)
It's being a while since I last get involve with love. Why can't the girl I loved, love me like how I loved them? It started like an awesome beginning, lots of laughter, then it was like a roller coaster ride, what am I really to you? You said that I am not a spare tire, I'm someone important, but I don't feel so, why? Our first night, maybe our last. I was looking forward, but I'm sad that you are sick. I'm sad that even though we are so close, you still texted G, still texted J, are you waiting for one of them? I really don't know. This morning, the messages really hurts, you said you used to like me 40% and now it's only less than 10%. Do I really deserve it? You have no idea how much it hurts, you will never know why I choose to go. Loving you till I cried, still loving you till I died.
I need to stop worrying for her. I need to stop thinking of her and missing her so much. I bet she can't even feel anything about me, why make myself go through so much pain. WHY? i ask myself. Guess this is love. Guess this is how you feel when you love someone yet the person don't love you. Is it too much to ask for her love? Should i endure this pain and carry on loving till she ignore me like Jessie? I'm afraid of failing.. Her text.. They hurt so much.. I know i was wrong, but.. the words.. They felt like a thousands bees stinging me on my head, my body.. "insecurity", "scared", "expectation" and "i just want things to go my way". Am i really that worthless. They say that love is like flying a kite, you need to set loose of the kite to make it fly higher, but i'm afraid if i let it go, it will never come back. I will give her the room she needed to breath, i will not text her moving forward.. I just hope and pray that i make a little impact in her life and she will remember me and text me back.. I really miss you Farah..
People are afraid of themselves, of their own reality; their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that’s bullshit. Love hurts.
Feelings are disturbing. People are taught that pain is evil and
dangerous. How can they deal with love if they’re afraid to feel? Pain
is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain. But they’re
wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength
in the experience of pain. It’s all in how you carry it. That’s what
matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you. Your own
reality. If you feel ashamed of them, and hide them, you’re letting
society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel
your pain.
If you're not the one, why does my soul feel glad today? If you're not the one, then why does my hand fit yours this way? If you are not mine, then why does your heart return my call? If you are not mine, would I have the strength to stand at all? I never know what the future brings but I know you're here with me now, we'll make it through and I hop you are the one I share my life with. I don't wanna run away but I can't take it, I don't understand. If I'm not made for you, then why does my heart tell me that I am? Is there anyway that I can stay in your arms? No matter how much i wanted to leave her, the simplest text
from her just take away all the pain.. Am i really in loved with her?
Why does all the songs i listen keep reminding of her.. I wanted to see
her so much, to hug her, to cry on her shoulder.. Farah.. i really miss
you.
It's funny how during your birthday, everyone in Facebook turn out to be your friends and started posting "birthday wishes". Well, all I'm asking is actually her post and maybe a photo of her now and again.
This was the third time i cried myself to bed. It's funny how she means so much to me, like the world when everything time just stop when she leave me. Oh well, technically she haven't leave me, we are not even together yet. Maybe that why it's more painful?
I'm turning 30 and in my 30 years, I've never really wanted anything in my life. This year birthday and this year Christmas, all I'm asking is for a chance, to love her. Even if i fail, i would be glad, at least i tried and i was given a chance to prove to everyone that I'm not so bad.
They always say that good girls always go for bad guys, and yet i got so much to prove that I'm not bad yet deep inside me, i wish that I'm good enough for you.
I miss those kisses and the way you used to sleep beside me on the taxi. I miss
the way you made me eat my meals and I miss the way you made me
laugh. I miss you..
216 Hours till maybe seeing you again..
It's been a while since i last type anything on this blog. Funniest thing is i barely know her, i think she felt the same as me, maybe worst. This feeling of missing and knowing that i wouldn't be in her mind is driving me insane. It's only 12 hours since i last saw her, how do i endure the next 240 hours and what worst is after the 240 hours, will i still get to chase her? Will i still get to be close to her?
It seems like a dream where i fall in love suddenly, where everything i wanted is in her. And my birthday and my Christmas.. Then it's all gone. Just one night and all is over.
I have 101 reasons to hate her. But somehow, the real me is telling me that it's worth it. That i should keep trying and no matter how painful it is, i need to carry on to prove to her, and to everyone else that I'm true and i really love her and it's not because of some impulse factor.
Why does everyone keep asking me to let go, why does everyone say it's okay when its not? I don't understand. Why is my love life always end up in a twist. Why can't someone just love me for who i am and not someone they want me to be.
I'll control myself, i will not text or annoy her any further. Although deep inside me, i still wish that she would call and said that she wants me over for Christmas, deep inside.. i wish.. i just wish.. Bolehkah saya memeluk? Boleh saya mencium kamu? All i want for Christmas is you. Loving you Farah.
30/8/2010 - The first time we met, the first move was Step up 3. The first cafe we had was at Cineleasure. She worn a black top with black skirt and a black windbreaker.
27/3/2011 - She ask if i wanna go over to her nephew 1st year, i went. Bought a muscial instrument for him and some donuts and stomach pills for her, played my first mahjong after since... 5yrs ago? Waited for taxi.. long wait.. no taxi, no calls.. finally a taxi came over.
29/3/2011 - First Open Water Basic Theory, late for class, had dinner at Mac at Habour Front and move over to Coffee Bean because of the renovation works.. too noisy.
30/3/2011 - Watch a movie at AMK Hub, Morning Glory. Her grandmother was warded..
8/4/2011 - It was a friday, on our way to Timon, she bought an eye mask(for me) and dress(for xuan)
9/4/2011 - 2 shore dive.. First time crying on bed..
10/4/ 2011 - 2 Boat dive.. Get to hold her hands underwater, get to have her head rest on my shoulder.
11/4/2011 - Watch a movie at Nex, The Eagle.
14/4/2011 - Watch a movie at AMK Hub, RIO.
18/4/2011 - was suppose to go rollar blading, but due to heavy rain, we went to Tampines n watch Scream 4 and have lunch at Swensen, Crayfish pasta and breaded chicken.
22/4/2011 - Pass her a DIY card frame, first time entering her house and room, apple green wall, she love the present from her looks.
23/4/2011 - She came over to play mahjong, lost $155, felt bad..
24/4/2011 - Its the end.
"In Class nOw"
oh.. having fundamental of software development in short, learning Java2 -_-; went to cut my hair yesterday and catch spidery3 ~_~ not really nice cause too dragly and not really following the real story but who cares, it's a movie so must have ending ma..
The real story is, venom is 10x stronger than spiderman and spiderman can never win venom, because it's the evil from spiderman and once it's out it doesn't need to find another host because it's independance, it find it's own body to which he wants to bond with. And in the real story, both harry and his dad didn't die T_T and they never help spiderman at all :_( rubbish movie but!~! it's still good consider the animation effect and time, some 2hours ++ movie. i give it a 8/10 ~_~ Venom is soooooooo nice, but i still like Carnage
Lesson in class is so boring, nothing much to do.. oh.. soooooooo boring..